So it's over... it was a true case of a fade-out... from pseudo-boyfriend ... to me firing off a one line bitchy email... to silence. It's been dead silence for 5 days... I want answers, I want to talk about it, I want to "save it"... but in the end I know the answer... he's just not that into me. This is the MOST powerful book I've ever read... if you are someone who bounces from relationship to relationship... READ IT! It doesn't make it hurt any less, but at least it's honest...
From the book:
"Men are not complicated, although we'd like you to think we are, as in "things are really crazy right now. I've just got a ton of shit going on." We are driven by sex, although we'd like to pretend otherwise: "What? No, I was totally listening." And sadly (and most embarrassingly), we would rather loose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply "You're not the one"....But the fact remains that even though we may not be saying it, we are ABSOLUTELY showing it all the time. If a dude isn't calling you when he says he will, or making sure you know that he's dating you, then you already have your answer. Stop making excuses for him; his actions are screaming the truth: He's just not that into you."
- he's just not that into you, Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo
I find myself now that I'm going through this healing process stirring up old relationships in my head and analyzing "now what happened there"... where this normally would be an afternoon process of analyzing timing and circumstances... I now simply say "well he just wasn't that into me" and I'm done. No wasted energy, no getting down on myself, no waiting for the phone to ring. Just a smirk and an "oh well" because why would I want to be with someone who's not that into me?
I'm the girl that has constantly had a relationship since 10th grade... seriously... I can sit here and list them and other than a few months this past year where I was dating a few different guys casually I've never spent a significant amount of time alone. Even when I was going through my divorce I was dating a guy (total asshole) who I thought was "my knight in shining armor". I think instead of dealing with the raw emotions and disappointment of a break-up, I just distract myself with something different, something new... even if I know it's not a right fit.
Then those "not a right fit guys" and I get emotionally attached and I catch myself settling for someone who doesn't match up to my expectations, but I convince myself that I can make an exception to that one little expectation... but I can't and ultimately I look back at the past year and I don't see a single right fit... I don't see a single person I should have been dating... I just see distractions, comfort, bad fits...
So how empowering would it be for that "always in a relationship" type of girl to go on a dating hiatus?