Well it came today... the dreaded invitation to my high school reunion.
Over the past ten years I've often day dreamed about my high school reunion. Who would be fat, who would apologize for being mean to me, who would be wildly successful. Typical Romy & Michelle stuff. I love high school "teen" movies & reunion movies as they show just how typical my experience was.
Other than my 3 girls who moved up here I really haven't seen anyone since high school. There's the occasional fly by at a random mexican food place or airport... and a few weddings... but never all of them in a group setting... there's a reason I moved 7 hours away!
This may come as a surprise to some of you, but I HATED high school. I was not in the popular group, I was not on the homecoming court or a "prom princess", I was not even a cheerleader. I ran for class treasurer my senior year and was beat by a girl that didn't even campaign.
I went to a high school that was 80% hispanic... our homecoming court... all hispanic, class favorites... all hispanic, cheerleaders... almost all hispanic, class council... all hispanic. I can't count on my fingers and toes how many times I was ridiculed for not only being white, but blonde... I stuck out like a sore thumb.
There were some highlights (all things that didn't require a popular vote)... I won a few statewide solo dance competitions through drill team and was a drill team officer for 2 years. I played "Alice" in Alice in Wonderland my senior year and was the runner up in the Texas Business Professionals of America extemporaneous speaking competition (ah yeah the art of bullsh*t). I was even honored in our high school "Hall of Fame" as being one of the most well-rounded students (an honor given by a committee of staff members)
Unfortunately (as I think for most people) the bad experiences (trust me I haven't even gotten started) stand out more than the good. There are people I'd be very content not to ever see again... but there are those great people that you went to school with from kindergarten all the way through senior year... the people that make up every memory before the age of 18 & some of those are worth rekindling.
So I find myself tonight with the invitation in one hand and my Senior Year annual in the other... trying to make a decision. I started reading the notes that were written throughout the yearbook and thought I'd share a few with yall...
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From the guy who never paid attention to me... "A - You are my sunshine! It's been an exciting four years, but the real fun is just beginning. I hope life treats you well." (It must have rained all through high school because I was never on his radar...)
From the guy I never knew existed... "A - It's going to be really hard accepting that we might never see each other again, but I know that as we go our separate ways you will become somebody really special. Good luck in the future." (Do you know how hard that was for a 18 year old shy boy to write?)
From the girl that tortured me everyday with the sweetest grin possible on her face... "A - Good luck next year & have fun. I hope you enjoy North Texas, it will probably be a lot better than high school." (Now was that an apology?)
From the on again off again high school boyfriend... "A - I am glad we got to know each other while we were in high school. And I'm glad we are still friends. I hope you do well in school. Good luck in Denton. I hope we never loose touch." (Wow he was a man of words!!! Believe it or not we were on again after this note!!!)
From one of the greatest guys I know that is currently serving in Iraq... "A - It's been fun having classes together these last four years. I know I annoy you, but you love my shoulder massages. Good luck with everything you do in your future. Keep the nice legs!" (That just cracks me up he knew me way too well!)
There are others that pretty much say "it was fun to gossip with you" or "keep in touch" (remember this was before email) & several that say "good for you getting out of this horrible town", but the ones above stand out as the gems.
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Reading through these comments from friends and classmates made me realize the following:
- I don't think I saw myself in the positive light that others saw me in. I believe that I enjoyed the drama of being the "victim" in high school & never sought to look on the "bright side" of any situation. I was not a positive person.
- I'll regret not going more than I'll ever regret going.
- I need to forgive some people even if they don't seek my forgiveness... and as every teenage flick goes, I need to ask for some forgiveness from others.
All four of us that have hung out since high school have committed to going... emails have gone back and forth tonight and plane tickets are ready to be purchased. I'm going to try to rally a few others that I want to see and encourage them to be there too. I'll let yall know how it goes!
I enjoy reading your blog - i lost hope for some time you keep it going - in particular after "How I Fell in Love in 6 Weeks" - and all your insights on how to look on life in positive light!
Hope that the reunion goes well for you (I have something like that coming and I am anxious/dreading about it too.)
Posted by: Aleksander Slominski | July 09, 2005 at 07:02 PM